Friday coffee moments - 2nd day

Hello there.

Its friday. 2 days before Valentines day of 2010 and chinese new year.

Since I dont have anybody this Valentines day, yeah..sad to say haha and even if I feel sad and alone this season, I have to give something to other people. As the saying goes, when you feel sad or lonely, reach out to other people, give without expecting anything in return, with that, you will feel happy.

I started my day with coffee...at home. I asked, "who wants coffee?" my grandma and my mom both shouted "me!" so i brewed......

As I sip it, so many things dashed through my mind, again, i thought about him, i asked myself, is he thinking of me this valentines day? when he sees flowers or daisies..does he even bother to think about me? and then i thought about Emersons, why on earth does it taking them so long to call me back for an interview? haay. I badly need a change of career and I want it. :( And i think about the party im going to attend to later..and tomorrow, my grandma's bday. So many things are happening in my life right now, but still i think about this one person. I thought about his family, I decided to shut them out from my facebook. I did not delete them, but I just blocked them in seeing my upload pics and status. I did that because everytime i see them, it hurts me, and i just want to move on with my life. In short, I want to help myself. Its never easy, but I will get there.

I cried and i was emotional last night, when I heard ruthie is resigning. A lot of people left the company and explored their horizons...its a brave thing to do. I wish i have that courage. But i know i have. I just need to have a good job to land on to. So please God, i hope Emersons will call...and if not, i need to search again for another one. Maybe its not meant for me.

As I about to stepped outside, I thought about a scripture in the bible. Its says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" . I cried, because as much as I want to reason out and understand my current situation, I feel that its never gonna be okay. I sometimes ask God, when will this end? Then i realize, God will never give me any setbacks that He knows I cant take. He knows I am strong to handle these things. And He knows what is in my heart. I cried because im still hurting so much about a love that was lost.

How do you heal a broken heart....

but nevertheless...happy valentines day everyone. Life is still good and God is good....